Finding Healing and Your True Identity
(Plus Interview with Rachelle Starr)
There are wounds we can easily identify: a broken bone, a scar left behind after surgery, a faded mark from childhood.
And then there are those wounds no one can see.
They often reveal themselves quietly. In the relentless pursuit of approval. In the fear of rejection. In the voice that whispers we are not enough. Sometimes we carry those hidden hurts for so long that we mistake them for part of who we are.
The Bible tells us that God is “close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). That promise has comforted believers for generations because it reminds us that God never overlooks the pain others cannot see.
During my recent conversation with Rachelle Starr, founder of Scarlet Hope and executive producer of the documentary He Calls Me Daughter, we talked about one of those often-hidden pains: Father Wounds.
For years, Rachelle has ministered to women working in the adult entertainment industry. As she listened to hundreds of life stories, she began to notice a heartbreaking pattern. Beneath addiction, exploitation, shame, and broken relationships often lay a much deeper ache—the longing to be seen, protected, affirmed, and loved by a father.
While not every difficult story begins there, many do.
Yet this conversation isn’t only for women whose fathers were absent or abusive.
Father wounds can take many forms. Sometimes they are created through harsh words. Sometimes through emotional distance. Sometimes through impossible expectations. Even loving fathers, limited by their own humanity, cannot fully satisfy the deepest needs of the human heart.
Without realizing it, we often carry those experiences into our relationship with God. We may believe He is disappointed in us because we grew up trying to earn affection. We may keep Him at a distance because trust has always felt dangerous. We may struggle to receive grace because we’ve spent a lifetime believing love must be earned.
But the beautiful invitation of the gospel is that our Heavenly Father is unlike any earthly father.
Jesus came so we could know Him—not merely as Creator and savior, but as our Father.
Throughout Scripture, we encounter a God who pursues His children with tenderness. He runs toward prodigals. He welcomes the weary. He gathers the broken. He speaks identity where shame has spoken lies.
Knowing that truth doesn’t erase painful memories overnight, but healing often starts the moment we allow God’s truth to challenge the stories our wounds have been telling us for years.
One of the most moving parts of my conversation with Rachelle was hearing how this truth continues to transform lives. Women who once believed they were beyond redemption have discovered they are deeply loved. Their past no longer defines them because God’s grace has given them a new identity.
That same invitation extends to each of us.
Perhaps your wounds look different. Maybe they came through disappointment, abandonment, criticism, or silence. Maybe until this moment you had never thought of them as “father wounds.” Regardless of the type of wounds we carry, they do not have to write the final chapter of your story.
Isaiah reminds us that God gives “a crown of beauty instead of ashes” (Isaiah 61:3). What a breathtaking picture of redemption. Our Father doesn’t merely cover our brokenness; He transforms it into something that reflects His beauty and His faithfulness.
Indeed, healing is rarely instantaneous. It often unfolds one surrendered prayer, one honest conversation, one step of trust at a time. But every step toward the Father is a step toward freedom.
That is the heartbeat behind He Calls Me Daughter. It isn’t simply a documentary about painful pasts. It is a testimony to the relentless love of a God who calls wounded hearts by a new name. A God who sees beyond our failures, beyond our fears, beyond the labels others have placed on us, and simply says, “You belong to Me.”
If you’ve ever questioned your worth, wondered whether God truly delights in you, or struggled to believe His love is personal, I hope you’ll take time to listen to my conversation with Rachelle Starr. My prayer is that it encourages you to see your story through the eyes of a Father whose love has never depended on your performance, your past, or your pain.
Because before we were anything else, we were always His beloved children—and His invitation to come home is still open today.
FIND OUT MORE:
- Learn more about the organization: Scarlet Hope
- Watch the movie: He Calls Me Daughter
He is our Good Good Father He calls us daughters. Meaningful listen.
Thank you, Mary! Amen and Amen!