Why today’s children are more anxious—and how we can help them build resilience
(Plus my interview with counselors and bestselling authors Sissy Goff and David Thomas)
“Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I get up; You understand my thoughts from far away. You scrutinize my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before there is a word on my tongue, behold, Lord, You know it all. You have encircled me behind and in front and placed Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is too high; I cannot comprehend it.” Psalm 139: 1-5
King David’s words in Psalm 139 shine through the ages, promising that God not only knows our every step but also surrounds us with His protection and favor.
His covenant love, protection, and favor are not reserved for the days when we feel we are “doing good” as His children. It’s not lavished upon our lives only when we feel secure, and our steps are firm. God’s favor is reserved for His children every day, from birth to death, whether we feel loved and protected or not.
Indeed, if this promise is true (and it is), He knows our every step, even before we took our first.
Psalm 139 is a declaration of belief in God’s sovereignty and knowledge of all our ways through life. It is for the child as much as it is for the teenager, adult, or man and woman of old age. His protective hand upon our lives never changes… because He never changes.
And yet, somewhere along the way, we do.
Trust as a Child
As children, our hearts blindly trusted our parents.
Watch a little toddler throw himself into the arms of his daddy from the top of the slide…
Observe a daughter cross a busy road confidently as she holds mommy’s hand…
Trusting a parent is (usually) as natural as breathing. Likewise, some children enjoy a level of confidence and lack of fear that often concerns their parents. Whether out of ignorance of life’s dangers or innocent trust, a child who grows up in a nurturing household usually shows high levels of trust.
Until they don’t any longer.
Recent research points out that fear and anxiety enter the stage at an increasingly earlier age. Particularly since the pandemic, a worrisome and growing number of children and teenagers face crippling anxiety over even the most natural progressions in life.
CAPABLE
I recently had a conversation about this issue with renowned counselors and authors Sissy Goff and David Thomas for my podcast. In their new book, Capable: How to Teach Your Kids the Strengths, Skills, and Strategies to Build Resilience, they address this very tension: children today are growing up in a world filled with more information and exposure, yet often less resilience.
In their practice, they’re seeing a growing number of children who feel paralyzed by situations that once felt ordinary—fear of going to school, anxiety over social interactions, or an inability to cope with failure or discomfort. Many are highly aware of the world around them, yet lack the internal tools to process what they feel.
As we discussed some of the ways they share in the book and practice to help parents prepare children to realize that they are indeed equipped to face life’s challenges, the counselors emphasized that the goal is not to remove every obstacle from a child’s path. It is to equip them to walk through life’s scary first steps and challenges with confidence and strength.
Sissy and David speak about resilience not as toughness or independence alone, but as the ability to face challenges, process emotions, and move forward—anchored in truth rather than fear.
And isn’t that what Psalm 139 has been telling us all along?
That before a child ever learns to be strong, they are already known.
Before they learn to navigate the world, they are already surrounded.
Before they take their first step, they are already held.
The question then becomes not “are our children capable?” But rather, do they know Who is holding them?
MORE THAN ABLE
We cannot control every outcome our children will face, nor can we shield them from every disappointment or fear. But we can do something even more powerful:
We can remind them, again and again, of the God who sees them, knows them, and walks with them. The One who is more than able is ever available to enable them to face life’s challenges as they grow up.
Because at the end of the day, what our children need most is not a perfectly safe world. They need an unshakable foundation. And that foundation has already been laid.
And perhaps the greatest gift we can give the next generation is not just teaching them how to be capable…
…but showing them that they have never been, nor will they ever be alone.
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” Ephesians 3:20-21
CONNECT WITH SISSY AND DAVID AND PURCHASE THE BOOK:
- Purchase Capable on Amazon: https://amzn.to/4d3zU9V
- Connect with the authors: https://bit.ly/4w5FXDs
