Column for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Dr. Patrick Morley founded Man in the Mirror, a global organization that has reached millions of men since 1987. He began his ministry with a small Bible study in a bar with a few men in 1986. At the time, Dr. Morley was a real estate agent searching for his own life’s purpose. He started this group of men who shared the same desire: finding meaning, healing, and God’s guidance.

This study has since become a global phenomenon, and his book, “Man in the Mirror,” was named one of the most influential Christian books of the twentieth century.

I interviewed Dr. Morley for my podcast earlier in the year. He shared about his new book, “From Broken Boy to Mended Man—A Positive Plan to Heal Your Childhood Wounds and Break the Cycle.”

During the interview, Dr. Morley shared his personal story of healing from childhood trauma through therapy and by applying biblical principles in his healing journey.

When Morley was 53 years old, his mother died. At a time when most people would grieve, he found himself feeling distant and apathetic toward his loss. The situation bothered him greatly, and he decided to see a counselor to understand his apathy.

Through therapy, Morley recounted the emotional neglect he experienced growing up, describing a family environment lacking verbal affirmations, guidance, or physical affection. He does not remember ever being told he was loved. He didn’t feel supported or valued, nor did his family discuss aspirations, relationships, or personal development. These unspoken gaps left lasting scars that manifested in various challenges in his adult life.

Morley had a hard time acknowledging the pain of his past because his parents were kind, respectable people. Ultimately, this understanding was pivotal for his research and work with other men. Because we often associate trauma with verbal or physical abuse, it is not uncommon to find out that many men underestimate the impact of neglect and lack of direction during their childhood and adolescence.

From Broken Boys to Mended Men

Morley’s experience and research concluded that the absence of parental loving physical touch, affirmation, and guidance can be a profound form of neglect. This acknowledgment was pivotal in his journey toward healing, as he recognized that these unaddressed wounds had impacted his self-worth and relationships.

Because of his own experience and since he has ministered to men for over 40 years, Dr. Morley knows the signs of childhood trauma when he sees them. During his research, he identified seven core things that men say that often indicate that they have childhood wounds.

“I feel like I am in this alone.”
“I don’t feel like God cares about me personally.”
“I don’t feel like my life has purpose.”
“Things feel random in my life.”
“I have these destructive behaviors that keep sort of dragging me back down.”
“My soul feels dry.”
“My most important relationships are not healthy.”

Anger, apathy, insecurities, addictions, and tumultuous relationships are only a few of the patterns Morley found in men with childhood wounds. In “From Broken Boy to Mended Men,” Morley offers them a structured approach to addressing the root cause of these destructive patterns and breaking the cycle of pain to transform their self-worth and relationships with others.

There is no scientific evidence to believe that men are less prone to emotional wounds than women. However, for centuries, we have supported a social subliminal message saying that men are emotionally stronger individuals and, therefore, “get over” pain faster than women.

The result is a society that has told their boys to “get up, dust off, and keep going,” regardless of the depth of the cut. This destructive pattern has produced many men who feel lost and lonely in their pain.

Isaiah 61:1–3 offers a powerful promise, describing a Savior who “binds up the brokenhearted” and “proclaims freedom for the captives.” This biblical foundation provides a promise and path toward a new, God-centered identity for the man who understands that he needs to seek healing and growth.

For men who can relate to Dr. Morley’s story and many others, there is healing in God’s transformative love and grace. By acknowledging their pain and seeking help, men can emerge with a renewed purpose, God-centered identity, and compassion and find restoration for their relationships and lives.

This article was originally published in Patricia’s column for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution on Saturday, November 2, 2024. Click HERE to find it on the AJC’s website.

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